Mean Bully

Bullying or Just Plain Mean?

Does It Matter?

“Does anyone have an iPad charger I can borrow?” he asked.

“Yes, but not for you,” she quipped.

This brief conversation took place on a Friday afternoon during a class of 9th graders, words spoken in front of all their peers.

Such a simple conversation, yet no hesitation that those words can hurt. The young boy did an immediate about face and left the classroom.

Our school had implemented a new character education program at the beginning of this academic year entitled Rachel’s Challenge. Rachel Scott was an amazing young lady who treated everyone with kindness and knew she would someday have an impact upon the world. Her life ended abruptly when she was the first of several shot and killed in the Columbine School Shooting on April 20, 1999. Continue reading “Bullying or Just Plain Mean?”

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laptop

A Positive Mid-Life Crisis

September 2016 to September 2017


It has been an emotional year for me. This is the first year after the passing of my younger brother, the other pea in my pod, my kindred spirit.

Between his passing and me being in my 40’s, it has also been the beginning of my mid-life crisis, so to speak. I want to live the life my brother was not able to live. Something I’ve wanted to do since 2nd grade when my teacher, Sr. Ann Francis, praised me for a poem I had written, was to be a writer.  The pursuit of writing had always been pushed down to the bottom of my to-do list. Other activities took precedent. Schooling, college, marriage, job, child, family. The career path I took was one of being an English teacher. Throughout the years, teaching has been a beat down. It’s not just teaching, its paperwork, politics, micro-managing, long hours, little free time. Yes, there are positives, as well, but since my first year of teaching, I knew I couldn’t do it forever. Well, this is my twentieth year. Hmmm…

Being an educator in a school system has not been beneficial to my health, especially since I already struggle with depression and anxiety. Teaching has compounded my struggle. The weight of mental illness has been enormous, and there are days where I cannot seem to carry it. There have been a couple years where I’ve had to take time off work for months due to mental breakdowns.

This past May, I decided it’s past time for me to pursue something for which I have such fervor. Continue reading “A Positive Mid-Life Crisis”

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Wall Drug

I Swear I’m Not Crazy

Stigma suggests otherwise.

Bit by bit, I’ve become more comfortable speaking up about my own mental illness. People hear that term, and they immediately think, “Oh no! What should I expect?” and they take a step back. Then they hear “bipolar 2” and they seem to turn and scurry away from the scary unknown.

I swear I’m not crazy.  I’m educating. I’m advocating for others who struggle. I’m attempting to stamp out stigma. I aspire to prevent others from giving in to suicidal tendencies.

Recently, I’ve reconnected with old friends via social media.  They knew me once upon a time when I was just me…quiet, happy, had close friends, living life as a teenager in high school.  What will they think when they realize I have anxiety and bipolar 2? It scares me to my core that it’ll be another nice-knowing-you-but-see-ya moment. Continue reading “I Swear I’m Not Crazy”

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Son of Bipolar Mom

4 Ways Bipolar Disorder Hinders Motherhood

Being a mom is what I always desired. To love and raise a child, mold him and impress upon him the love of life.  I was eager to provide basic needs to the more complex needs (such as discipline and instilling values).  Unfortunately, my son got the short end of the stick with me.

I suffer from bipolar 2.

Bipolar transformed motherhood into a monumental challenge.  Not only do I suffer, but my son has suffered as a result.  This causes me immense guilt.

As psychotherapist Diana Barnes says, “Depression is just wicked. It takes away the enthusiasm and energy you need to be a good parent. And on top of that, it distorts your thinking.”  Continue reading “4 Ways Bipolar Disorder Hinders Motherhood”

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