…grab your umbrella
I know my limits.
They strike more quickly than others’.
My energy is depleted by the end of the work day, and my time at home is then “wasted”. I say wasted because I want to be productive around the house: do the laundry, help make dinner, clean, play board games with the family, and such.
My “productivity”, though, often remains to be recuperation. Relaxation due to complete physical and mental exhaustion.
I know my family doesn’t fully understand. I know my husband wishes to understand, but it’s a foreign creature to him. I’m clueless as to how to explain it in such a way where he can fathom it.
The only people who truly comprehend are the others who struggle with mental illness, as well.
I often persevere through the work day, beginning to fake it near the end, due to increased struggling.
Then, complete enervation.
After my Monday through Friday work week, I’m completely useless all day Saturday. It’s not until Sunday that I have regained energy to do what I’m capable of on my to-do list.
For multiple reasons, one being my own mental health, I resigned my educator job in January (after twenty years). I took on another job that didn’t require me to take work home with me; however, the pay is insufficient.
I’m now needing a second job to recoup the lack of income in order for us to not lose our house. That clock is ticking, the alarm is about to sound, my anxiousness is increasing, and I fight…sometimes insufficiently…to keep depression at bay.
I know, though, the sun will break through again.