Bipolar Confessions from a Wife, Mother, and Friend.

I struggle with type 2 bipolar disorder.

Bipolar has transformed my life into a monumental challenge, and I feel guilty when it affects my family and friends.

Fatigue

Smiling, interacting, being part of the family unit or social circle… all can be exhausting. Between my medications and pushing through the day, I sometimes slip into a landslide of lassitude. Naps are not only a nicety, but a necessity…or neither. Continue reading “Bipolar Confessions from a Wife, Mother, and Friend.”

Outing My Bipolar Self

Friendships are hard for a bipolar, anxiety-ridden introvert.

Other than my years of being bullied, friendships were good overall. By 11th grade…and college…and early years of my career, friends were sprinkled throughout. Not many, but enough. None lasted, although I thought they would. As much as I tried to keep them near, they drifted further and further away. Eventually, I stopped trying. I’d converse with my colleagues at work, but doing anything outside of work or home became extremely rare. Continue reading “Outing My Bipolar Self”

Keeping Your Emotions in Check

There is strength in understanding your emotions.

I haven’t always been able to trust my own thoughts and feelings.

I’ve had staunch thoughts and feelings on a particular matter, and a week later they’d already be irrelevant because my thoughts and feelings have done a 180 flip (or flop). Confounding. How can my perception completely shift? Bipolar has this capability. Continue reading “Keeping Your Emotions in Check”

Mental Health Day = Medical Leave

When I Just Can’t Cope

I’m currently on a brief medical leave from my day job because I just can’t cope. I’m trying to avoid a complete breakdown. Having bipolar affects multiple aspects of life, and maintaining a job is one of them. I just can’t seem to complete all the necessary tasks…at work or at home. My energy and mental capacity dwindles throughout day. I’ve received emails at work telling me where I’m slipping; however, I’m slipping more than they realize. I awaken at 4:45am and leave by 6:10 to avoid monstrous traffic, and I’m home again before 5:00. Then, I have more work to do, of course, because a teacher’s job isn’t just during school hours. School hours are for teaching and meetings, yet by noon I begin to struggle. After typical work hours, it’s time for more parent contact, lesson plans, grading, and ancillary paperwork. And, lesson plans are not just a lesson plan a day… it’s four lesson plans per day due to the types of classes I teach; that’s twenty lesson plans per week. Continue reading “Mental Health Day = Medical Leave”