Parenting Your Teen Through Chaos & Crisis
by Patty Scott, M.A.
A Book Review by Alicia Rust
I’ve written about what motherhood is sometimes like while I live with my cohort, bipolar. Between that…and having to always work full time…I have felt like motherhood, what I wanted more than nearly anything in this world, has been both gypped and marred. My short-comings seem to line this noble calling with failures aflame.
Is a second chance at parenthood possible?
Much has changed in my life just recently. After twenty years of being an educator, I have resigned. I now am in the presence of a second chance at parenting.
However, is it too late? I’ve agonized over this.
Then, I read Patty Scott’s book, Parenting Teens through Chaos & Crisis. Honestly, I don’t feel that my hubby and I have had too much chaos and crisis brought on by our teenage son (yet), but so much comfort enveloped me when I read Patty’s words:
“The teen years are like a parenting do-over. Whatever you didn’t get right when they were little can be corrected and done differently in adolescence.”
Could this be true? Is this a glimmer of hope for my son and for me?
I have a second chance to ameliorate our family dynamics. I’m a fan of second chances, and I’m relieved to have one now.
My little boy is becoming a young man, and I want him to know that I realize I haven’t been the perfect mom. I choose to apologize where I have “bungled it as a parent” because as Patty mentions, “Admitting where you botched it and attempting to heal the relationship will go miles…”
Patty Scott bestows her wisdom on me…and on all who read her book.
She guides us in positive ways to interact with our young adult children, avoiding power struggles and seeking win-win situations. She gives examples of how to provide a counterbalance to what our teens intake from life outside the home. It’s time for me to focus my time and energy into “pouring in the good”, choosing consequences that can actually be enforced on a boundary-pushing teen, being available to my boy, and being his advocate and building him up. It’s time for me to parent by being a “consultant and ally” instead of just the provider and authority.
Time remains for me to provide my son with valuable influence.
Originally written and published on Medium February 2018.
Copyright © 2018 Alicia Rust. All rights reserved.