depression

Stuck In the Sludge of Depression

Mental Mud

Over the past week or so, I’ve struggled with a prolonged depressive state.

Not the deep, suicidal depressive state, but one where I feel like I’m stuck in mud up to my waist and trying to move while I slowly sink. It’s cumbersome and frustrating and not pretty.

I don’t know when I’m going to “snap out of it,” and I become frustrated. I wish to force an upturn. The longer it takes, though, the more frustrated and anxious I become. Agitated, I wonder when I can feel better again. The numbness to what’s going on around me is fine for a while, but eventually it turns into “what’s the point?” I slide further down into my depression.

Difficult Tasks

Sooner or later when I actually do something around the house, I receive praise for having done it.  Don’t get me wrong; it feels good to be appreciated.  However, acquiring a gold star for something so menial seems silly.  Internally, though, I recognize the accomplishment for what it actually was for me. A triumph. Continue reading “Stuck In the Sludge of Depression”

Mental Illness Stigma

Stop Strengthening the Stigma Surrounding Mental Illness

Mental Health is No Joke.

You’re such a psycho.

She’s so bipolar.

What a schizo!

I often hear people use mental disorders as adjectives and for name-calling.  I hear comments like this and my blood begins to boil. They are meant to be hurtful due to the stigma that already surrounds them. However, using the terms in this way undermines the diagnoses of such conditions that many people struggle with. As John Slick says, this terminology has “seeped into our vernacular…it really gets under my skin and makes me feel like I’m less than a person and that my mental illness is not legitimate…” Even the weather has been described as bipolar. Weather isn’t bipolar. This description of the weather makes the mental condition diminutive when the opposite it true. Continue reading “Stop Strengthening the Stigma Surrounding Mental Illness”

BID Wall

Wall of Hope

Let’s climb that wall together.

My husband and I recently vacationed in Asheville, NC.  We never had a honeymoon, so this was it…nineteen years later…and our first vacation together in fifteen years without our child.  As the cliché goes, better late than never!

While walking down Biltmore Avenue, a wall caught our eye, entitled “Before I Die.”  On the wall were places for passersby to record their hopes and dreams for their lives.  What a beautiful idea!

Personal declarations for the masses to see.

Reading these declarations is inspiring.   We all have hopes and dreams.  Sometimes, these dreams seem unattainable, but we must not give up.  However, I believe that giving up is a roadblock that we all encounter at some point during our lives.   For people battling for mental health, we feel the weight of this stalwart roadblock all too deeply.  We require that nudge or encouragement from others probably more so than most.  For those with the invisible mental illnesses, like myself, this kindness can be life-saving. Continue reading “Wall of Hope”